“SMOKE RINGS, SUREST MEANS OF COMMUNICATION”

It was around mid eighties, that an irate politician, in New Delhi,
walked in the office of the Telephone Department, brandishing a gun.
It was a top story then. In fact many sympathized with the politician, rather than the telephone officials, who were threatened by him, for sloppy and arrogant service.
Telephone chaps were known to be rude, uncooperative, and nonchalant.
It was a total monopoly over telecommunication that, they had, which shaped their psyche that way. A “Devil may care” attitude.

AN EFFECTIVE ALTERNATIVE

Later in mid nineties came the cell phones, in our country. The entire landscape changed. There was now an alternative available, for people. The customer could show the incompetent service provider, the proverbial thumb.
However old habits die hard.
The telephone-chaps are not accused of any long- hours at office or burning the mid- night lamps as it were. In addition to twiddling their thumbs, they engage in a popular departmental sport.
That of changing telephone numbers.

I wonder why they engage themselves in these satanic ploys, repeatedly. Don’t they realize that in the present world, the telephone number serves as an address, and should have some permanency? It is given to several people whom you meet as business associates. You don’t meet them on a daily basis. They do look up your business cards for communication, whenever a need arises.

A VILLAGER’S NEED.

Back in Kokan, an effective means of communicating with others at a distance, in the villages is a shrill Tarzan kind of shout , which one vociferates. The recipient acknowledges the shout by responding with a shriller shout. This much communication was adequate in an agrarian set up. It has several interpretations, depending on the context. No further articulation was found to be necessary. It was a complete communication. With a little practice any one can produce this Tarzan-call.
Probably the Telephone department still lingers in this kind of a scenario, of communication.

AT THEIR MERCY

Take my telephone numbers as a case in point.
I stay at Baner/ Aundh, and had bought OYT telephone connection, for my residence, around 1996. (OWN YOUR Telephone connection.) They had one called “Tatkal” also i.e. you had to pay Rs 15000/ and instantaneously they would grant a connection.
Others had to wait for years and years. Actually TATKAL, translated; meant you paid for their total incompetence, in providing the basic services. A complete absence of planning, on the part of their department. Any case, after a lot of hue and cry, they withdrew this service later.
Mine was a telephone of six digits, starting with 38.
Then they decided to make it to seven digits and changed it to 588. One more year down, and after some political pressure, they transferred my number to a new exchange, i.e. Banner exchange.
Hence my number would now take 729 in place of 588. The funny thing is they changed the other digits too. It was not just a replacement of the first three digits. This is sheer callousness. Later it was decided that the telephone numbers would be eight digits, and you have to prefix 2 to your telephone numbers. Changes would keep coming at a pace; of one year to six months.
This was the story at my residence.

AT OFFICE

My office is in cantonment. There the telephone numbers were changed similarly in fits and starts and not synchronous with changes, in other areas.
Every time the telephone number would change, I had to reprint my office stationery, letter-heads, visiting cards etc. Those who have my old cards would never be able to contact me. The contacts are lost forever.
The telephone chaps should realize that we are in an age where connectivity, is of prime importance.
In an era of intangibles, creativity, connectivity, and competence are the basic elements. They are absolutely in the bullock- cart age.
Whatever reasons, they may offer for the change of the telephone numbers; surely there is some technology available which can take care of a few changes at their end. They are espousing the path of least resistance. Ask the customer to change his records, go fly a kite!
Can’t they effect the changes once and for all, at one go.

In developed nations, the telephone number is like an address, a near permanent one, which does not change at the drop of a hat. The officials must sit up, and look at the issue more objectively.
I thought they had done their bit of pranks and now all the stationery and visiting cards had the right numbers at last.
Last week, I got a telephone bill, for my Tata Indicom telephone, my number starting with 562, will commence with 652 now. The earlier number stands cancelled as of 21 September. 06. Old habits?

MY RESPONSE

• I have already applied for a gun licence.

• In the meanwhile I have commenced to perfect, the Tarzan shout, of Kokan villages, as a” sound” alternative.

• I have decided to ask all the telephones from my residence and office, to be CONSIGNED TO THE RECYCLE BIN.
• Resort to the good old means of communication,” SMOKE rings,” which is a more dependable, and less irksome, alternative.


M.S.RANADE,
mranade@vsnl.com
PUBLISHED IN TIMES PUNE WEST SIDE SUPPLEMENT ON FRIDAY 6TH OCTOBER, 2006